December 1999
Letter to Granny:
Well, I am typing this in the lounge room on the "coffee table" so you will have to forgive me if there are too many mistakes, J is helping me. I realise a hand written letter is far more personal, buy my typewriter has been gathering the dust for months now and I thought I would drag it out and give it a whirl again.
Mum says that you would like me to do a remote reading for you, and I said that I thought it was a little ironic that I gave readings for just about everyone else there, and the only one who missed out was the most spiritually inclined of them all. I promise to do a meditation for you if you wish, but I still don't know what you thought of my dream. I hope it was a short enough description for you. I must add that a few nights ago I had another very spiritual dream, this one with a more magical overtone.
Remember how I was telling you that I was learning to understand the very nature and essence of life, it's force or energy? Well this dream inspired a whole different perspective of life for me. It was based around the magic and energy that collects in certain objects over a period of time which become sacred objects. Or the way in which magicians and witches can control the flow of life force-energy with their spells, etc. How the relation between symbols and energy interweave with each other. So that incantations that use words and symbols that have accrued power work. Using an object for ceremonies or even the ceremony itself can draw and shift energy or this essence of life, whatever you call it, into the shape you are calling on it to be. Whatever your will is, the energy shapes itself into it.
Also, I began to understand that energy travels through life in currents and streams, much the same as water travels down a mountain side. It flows through and around life, in many different types and forms. As in, a sacred object for ceremonial use has accrued a mass amount of energy and the energy stream would pool within that object. It would be an instrument of power and would therefore assume form on the spirit plane.
I hope I am not repeating myself too much, or that this is making some sense to you. I looked up my spiritual journal, so as to include some of my stuff with you, I hope it won't bore you. The first thing I have to tell you about is this page I found that relates to that little yellow book I read while I was there, "Agharta" ? I think.
On the page I have scribbled a few words to remind me of the dream I had and the conversation I had with my friend along the same lines, but as it seemed so fantastic at the time that I put it at the back of my mind and forgot about it, until I read that book.
I wrote:
Aliens-Atlantis
Future - past - present
City in the sky
Green towers and human ones
Construction? Why? What?
Inter-breeding?
On the same page is scribble in the corner: Who is Lillith, Goddess? Daughter of a God? Your guess is as good as mine on the last lot. I'll send you this meditation I got. It was about illusion and it went like this:
Is all illusion? Truth, an illusion?
Layer upon layer of drama and understanding surround and devour us until all becomes the illusion. Then the illusion becomes truth.
Thinking there is one truth leads only to a multitude of separate truths, all real and all different. Yet none are truth, all are illusion. How can there be one separate truth above the many, when all are truth, separate and together? Yet this is illusion also. How can the many be one and the one be all? How can a rope be considered one rope, when it is many strands tied together? Each strand having many fibres. We are all the rope and we are each a fibre.
One fibre sees a different truth from another fibre. Both truths are separate and different. Both are truth, both are illusion. Yet all fibres twisted together into one strand can see a similar or same truth.
This is truth and this is illusion.
We seek higher truths and higher understanding. The tool is in the illusion. It is a teaching aid, a step in the stairwell. Eventually the step to a higher plane involves the abandonment of 'truth' and illusion.
Understanding becomes knowing, and this knowing becomes part of ourselves. Another growth to our tree. We gather up grains of knowledge until we ourselves become that knowledge and are gathered up in turn.
A cycle, you ask? Or perhaps evolution. Evolving is a motion, cyclic in pattern but not in nature.
Much of life is this way also. We send out and receive back. We receive new forms of what we have sent out. We heed our inner selves, we learn from ourselves and our digestion of the things we have received - ultimately from ourselves.
We are the One.
We are the All.
I am the Many.
Then, after I finished my passage in my journal, there is a big circle drawn. A person at my mother's meditation group gave me three meditations to do. The first was, 'What am I?' Of course I left my book at Mum's place and so did Who Am I? instead, but hey.
Who Am I?
I am the sum of all my parts.
Am I my body?
My body is the physical manifestation of Self in this place.
Am I my memories?
My memories are the of all my experiences in thought form.
Am I my thoughts?
My thoughts are the generation of my mind; which are transformed into language, symbols, visions, or sensations and then released through my physical self and simultaneously stored in my memory.
Am I my mind?
My mind is the house of my lower Self, where all thoughts begin and end and where emotions and thoughts combine. It is where my higher and lower Self meet, combine and separate. It is a place and it is a function. Yet, in itself it is not who I am.
I am the centre of Self. I am the beginning and the end. I am the inverse of Self. I am the centre and all is in me. I am all and all is I.
Who Am I?
I am. I am neither name, nor face, nor place, nor person. I exist in many and all forms. I am the sum total of all these things and all my forms.
Well, now your letter has become a crumpled and disorganised mess. This would be so much easier to talk about face to face. At least then you could tell me what you think straight away and not have to wait some three weeks or so for your rely. Of course you could always con Pa into letting you email me!
It is late now, J has been in bed several hours and N is in the bedroom watching TV. I'm in the lounge room, and was thinking about doing a picture. Like a meditation on paper.
I hope everything is going well over there. I'm thinking of you, and everyone! I'll send this letter away tomorrow when I'm finishing my Christmas shopping. Last days of the millennia, so exciting! Curiously, I don't expect any major differences until after 2008 (perhaps even 2012). We'll have to wait and see! (That is, of course, supposing the world doesn't end at the stroke of midnight, as Y2K strikes and takes on solid form, dashing us all to our early deaths, hahaha!) Here's hoping I hear from you soon!
Love Bec
P.S.
Happy New Year!
P.P.S.
Goodbye Cruel World???
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